Price War
Lyrics
It's brash, it's aggressive,
It's cut price,
And it threatens the
Major music industry
Who for years have enjoyed
Dominance & tidy profit margins.
(Before we start, do I get paid for this?)
Every attempt is made
To cut costs.
Racing to the bottom,
and I know I'm gonna win.
I have no fucking value
and I'm in the bargain bin.
Not allowed to profit,
That's only for the rich.
Have to scrape a living
Or I'm in the fucking ditch.
You'd end it all tomorrow
If I dare to ask for more,
So I've gotta keep fighting
In your shit price war.
I think it's too early to tell
Whether it's a price war.
And that is probably too
Dramatic a description.
(Tell me more about this Anti Horse?)
Cryptographers and short wave
Enthusiasts have known about
Them for years; they're one of
Radio's most enduring mysteries.
(It's not a price war, it's a class war)
In front of me was a baby!
Naked as the day it was born.
(Tuesday.)
Completely hairless!
All the babies I've seen
were coated like thick carpets.
This one? Completely bare.
And this is what the baby said.
It went:
"Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga."
I mean, people started noticing, started complaining.
House prices were dropping.
I went back to the wife.
I said: "I think there's something afoot."
She said, "what are we to do about it?"
"We're just middle class home owners with a dog"
"And two kids."
"We're not avengers."
"We're not the kind of people who"
"are going to change the world."
So I did some spying
around the neighbourhood.
I started looking
through people's bins,
seeing if I could see
any clippings.
I knocked on the door.
She opened it.
I said "hello Grandmother".
She said "hello Bertie".
My name's Robert, but
she calls me Bertie.
And then I heard it from
up the chimney pot:
"Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga."
I reached my hand up there and dragged it down.
There it was. Little babby.
Completely bare.
Completely hairless.
People have a lot to say about
the police these days, but when
they heard about it, they were
straight on the scene. Very respectful.
They took their shoes off
when they came into my house,
They spoke to my wife without
using any slurs. So, really, top notch!
They took my grandmother away
to prison. Four years.
Nothing compared to
what she's done before.
And she still prefers it to
a care home, to be fair.
I think a stork was dropping
them off through the chimney.
I think there's an accomplice.
Sordid affair, though,
really sordid affair.
But everyone has an
off day, really.
We've all done worse.
I went to prison for seven
years for embezzlement.
(Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga)
(Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga)
(Shit price war)
(Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga)
(Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga)
(Shit price war)
(Goo goo ga ga goo goo ga)
(Shit price war)